January 2012
What Is Love
ryanpurtill:
The Vow and The Notebook have really shown me what women want… chronic memory loss.
Awhoooa whoa whooaooohh, awhoooaoohh, awooahooohhhh.
Wait…how does it go again…where am I…
Okay, enough with the pity party.
I’m done being sad about people. People are bound to either disappoint or surprise you, and, when it happens, you get upset about it, suck it up, and move on.
There are so many things that are so much worse in the world than my suburban life and dumb emotions. I take things too seriously and I understand how I have to ease up. Maybe I will soon. Maybe I’ll learn how to.
I’m...
Friend Zone →
camarochris:
Now between bitching males and feminists (who are usually women) defending themselves, I have heard too damn much about the “friend zone” recently. Allow me to put an end to this fuckery. To guys: shut the fuck up. You did not get put into the “friend zone”, you got rejected. The friend zone is lie. The truth is, there’s something about you that the girl doesn’t like, but because...
3 tags
in class: oh yeah this shit is easy i got this
exercises: i still got this
homework: maybe i don't got this
test: what
gustinvera:
omg my mom just asked me what i wanted to do for my birthday and i told her i wanted to steal the declaration of independence and she asKED ME IF I WAS GOING THROUGH A REBELLIOUS PHASE
2 tags
“Yo Miss, I don’t wanna be rude or nothin’, but your voice is...”
– A black student in detention calling out a white teacher who mistook the student’s name, that being Shawna, for Shaniqua.
I'm not a fan of this.
I’m not a fan of this at all.
Not even in the slightest.
But what sucks is that I don’t have a choice, you never really do.
You can never really have a say in someone else’s life - no matter how much it upsets you. I’ve been learning this slowly, and I’ve now come to the realization that if you expect a change just because it upsets you, you’ll forever be...
"Fat is beautiful"
Bullshit. Most people who say this, aren’t telling the complete truth, I’m sorry, they’re just not.
Before I begin my tirade, let me just say this: there is a body type out there for women of which I find to be very attractive. I’m not very particular about the body types of men. I’m saying this now so you understand that I am being completely honest with what I am...
I Got Scared
camarochris:
I thought my parents were fighting, cause it sounded like people yelling, so I opened my door to hear what was going on, and it was just Arabic people talking. Because they’re loud as fuck.
Bears, think they're so great.
Yeah - psht, bears. What’s so great about them anyways? What? That they can hibernate over the winter?
WELL SCREW YOU BEARS, THINKING YOU’RE SO GREAT. JUST CAUSE YOU SLEEP FOR FOUR MONTHS STRAIGHT.
YOU LAZY ARSES.
Well I’ll tell ya what, I could EASILY hibernate in my room for the winter too, if it weren’t so socially frowned upon.
Fuckin’ bears.
And their...
2 tags
lord of the flies in a nutshell
ralph: we need a fire
ralph: guys we need a fire
ralph: we really need a fire guys
ralph: guys
ralph: a fire
ralph: WE NEED ONE
jack: i have a better idea let's kill everything
I Wanna Learn How To Dance With A Woman
daveriches:
I mean like real dancing. I’m watching Wedding Crashers right now and how they’re dancing at the weddings, with all the twists and turns and shit. I wanna do that. Not the bullshit kids these days call dancing, which is really just glorified dry-humping.
Ew…prom…
We Asked: 10 Trends Men Hate (And Why You Should... →
jellabyjones:
lizdexia:
wild-cosmia:
brofisting:
this is fun to read because it’s basically some dude saying rude, women’s-choices-are-all-made-for-the-benefit-of-men things
and then a short paragraph on why he is incorrect, and also sexist
purfect
my favorite:
“Cray High Heels — “We’re going to be honest for a moment: Not all of us are over 6’0” tall, and that bothers us. You may...
3 tags
Because of you:
I am now addicted to Workaholics and The Life and Times of Tim
I find myself listening to Stevie Wonder a whole lot more
Tracy Morgan’s “Warewolf Barmitzvah” is routinely in my head
Boys becoming men, men becoming wolves
I don’t mind watching European Footbol, and actually kind of like it
I like Philly a whole lot more, and those 20 or so minute Patco rides over the...
“Blah bLah blAh blaH blargh touchdown blah bLAAh fuckin blarrrgghh ugh blah blah...”
– Everyone who watches football
The worst thing
I hate seeing really bad risque photography where they DON’T RETOUCH THE PHOTO AFTERWARDS.
Like if you see the creases in her makeup, or the frizz in her hair, or worse, if these risque photos are taken to show a woman’s behind, untouched cellulite.
Like Jesus Christ FIX THAT! Retouch your photos goddammit! Photoshop is your friend, don’t be scared of it! It’s your...
O R They?
ryanpurtill:
“I don’t want no scrubs”
-TLC fan or a Nurse tired of the same X-mas gift every year
I should stop listening to Elliot Smith when I’m already really emotional. Niagra falls right now all over my laptop and pastel drawing.
“Oh Elliot you know exactly how I feel in my life! There are so many problems in this world! I understand now, I understand, why you hated your life so much. Why you took your life I UNDERSTAND. Jesus Christ where am I going with me life?! I’m...
Words and phrases I say too much:
Dope
Like, actually
I mean…
Yo
Dope
Meh
Oi.
That’s so much like Twin Peaks
Buckoo
Kiddo
Dope
You don't have to have lived in a time period to...
You know when you see kids saying how much they like a certain TV show, a band, or just time period in general, when they may have been really young to have remembered that time period or weren’t even born yet?
You have the sticklers - who’ll stick with the “you weren’t there then, you can’t love it or even begin to know what it was like.”
And you know what,...
Me: *wearing shirt that says "keep a breast"
Abby: Mia, I love your shirt!
Dad: Yeah, that's awesome! That has so many meanings!
Me: It does?
Dad: Yeah, like keep abreast, like, keep your head up, ahead of life, that kind of thing.
Abby: That's awesome! Where did you get it?
Me: It's Obey and it's literal.
Dad and Abby: Oh...
Me: Yep. Keep your boobies. That's exactly what it means.
As much as I love Harry Potter
If you list that you’ve attended or are attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry on Facebook, I will never be able to take you seriously.
Or if you state that you’re on your school’s quidditch team -
No, scratch that, if you “play quidditch” seriously -
I’m just not going to be able to take you seriously. I’m sorry. I can’t. I just....
“I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”
– Martin Luther King, Jr.
Mitt Romney
ryanpurtill:
Mitt Romney has owned several companies and was in charge of buying and selling off other companies.
Mitt Romney also promoted the belief that companies are people.
Thus by his own logic, Mitt Romney has owned, bought and sold people his entire life.
Unfortunately, this is the only real attribute he shares with America’s forefathers.
Note: While Colbert made a similar joke last...
3 tags
I MADE A SKREENED ACCOUNT →
MEANING YOU CAN BUY DESIGNS I’VE MADE FOR TSHIRTS.
WHICH YOU ALL SHOULD DO.
THEY’RE REALLY NICE.
Disclaimer: Not all pieces are completely my own, obviously. But they’re shirts I’ve WANTED and have been looking for but just could never find. So yeah, you’ll see ATQC or Dead Kennedy’s logo and stuff but it’s still nice.
I think it’s really mean to wish for a couple to break up just because you have a problem with the relationship. I mean, I’d see WHY you’d wish for a couple to break up for certain reasons. Like you’d want your friend to dump their significant other because said other has been cheating/abusive. Or maybe you’d want a couple to break up because all they do is fight and...
3 tags
You don't have to be a prostitute
No, no, no, no, no
You can say no to being a man-ho,
A male gigolo.
You don’t have to be a prostitute.
No, no, no, no, no.
You can say no to being
A night looker
A boy hooker
A rent boy, bro-ho
So I went to my little brother’s elementary school dance last night because he invited me. It was Boys Night Out and the little boys in the school were supposed to invite “a special” woman in their life to go to the formal dance with. So, as most boys invited their moms, Eben invited me. His big sister. Everyone there looked at my oddly as if I were his mom, but nope, I was his...
More Realistic Rihanna Lyrics
ryanpurtill:
“We found love in an office space.”
2 tags
Ms. Slovac: We're all going to make Valentines for those people we care about. You know, someone we love.
Student: But Ms. Slovac, what if we don't care about anyone? What if we never experienced love?
Ms. Slovac: Then you'd be me.
Officially accepted into SAIC
Time to party
Time to celebrate
Time to rejoice in the fact that I got into one of the best art schools in the country
I’m gonna blow up.
camarochris:
Eric B. and Rakim - Paid In Full
...
scott pilgrim complaint:
cataquack:
whalebiology:
i’ve been working up the courage to say this for the last year and a half
movie kim pine wasn’t hot enough
something about cute redheads in books doesn’t translate to screen
see: ginny weasley
I have wanted to say this so badly but for some reason, that was always the opinion of mine I was scared to share.
I feel like if she were a cooler actress, that crazy...
